Foreign Affairs
by KuroRiya
Summary: How, and yes, I am asking YOU this, how do I manage to get myself into these situations? Surely you can't say that I ask for it, because I doubt there is any living creature that would wish this upon themselves. Waking up in the bed of a stupid Dane...


How, and yes, I am asking YOU this, how do I manage to get myself into these situations? Surely you can't say that I ask for it, because I doubt there is any living creature that would wish this upon themselves. And I can't fathom anything that I've done of late deserving of such punishment... So what, WHAT led me to this? I guess Tino was a little too convincing yesterday, and much too generous with the vodka. And the worst part is; I knew better. I know how I can get when I get drunk off my ass. I know how much a marriage between alcohol and dancing can change my entire demeanor and make me forget an entire evening of my life, and yet... I did it. I kept taking the offered shots, and believe me, they come pretty easy to the man of the hour. I guess that counts as a reason for punishment... Surely such a huge intake of alcohol is considered a sin in one religion or another. Still, enough to warrant THIS? I think not.

I suppose I got a little ahead of myself. I'm assuming that you are pretty confused at this point, but, honestly, so am I. Like I said, I tend to forget everything that happens after a consuming a certain amount of alcohol, and that was my current predicament. But I'll tell you everything I know about my current situation.

I woke up in the arms of a large man, who I had a feeling was blonde. (Don't ask why I got this feeling... He just felt so... Blonde.) Lucky for me, he was sleeping, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say that he won't be in that state for too much longer. After I came to the realization that I was in someone else's bed, I managed to gather that we were both very, VERY naked. As that dawned on me, my heart sank, and I'm sure my paled face would rival the color of the bedsheets that I was covered with. I'm not a mathematician, but even my mind could figure out this equation: Alcohol+Parties+Random Strangers+Unfamiliar Bed+Absolute Nakedness=Sex. More specifically, what was slowly beginning to look like a one night stand. And, unlike most other men my age, this would be my very first. I wiggled in his arms, attempting to look at the face of my apparent lover. (Rapist sounds more like it... I would never give myself up so easily... At least not sober...) But as soon as I moved, I nearly screamed. I had forgotten how much having someone inside of you hurts the day after, and to add to that, I finally noticed the massive hangover I had. Great. I mean, what screams 'last week of freedom' better than a hangover and an aching ass? If you seriously just nodded your head and said "Hell yeah!," just know that I will find you and stab you in the eye for your obvious lack of understanding for sarcasm. You know who you are. Moving on, I had managed to wince my way far enough out of his arms to see his face, and I won't say that I was disappointed. I mean, sure, I was pissed that my drunken ass had handed itself over for a good fucking, but at least it had chosen an attractive partner.

I had guessed right, he was blonde, and very much so. His hair was in a messy array, framing his peacefully sleeping face. But somehow, that seemed right, his hair I mean. Like, I wouldn't change it, even if he was conscious, as messy as it was. The bedhead look suited him, and that coming from me is quite the compliment. His features, so sharp and defined, the very opposite of mine, finally convinced me of his attractiveness. I hated to admit it, but the man was damn hot, and I'd probably sleep with him again if it weren't for my... Circumstances. And please, I don't say that to sound like a whore. But sex is sex, and everyone needs it once in a while, even seemingly asexual Norwegians.

However, as I said, my circumstances didn't allow me to indulge as such, so I was therefore faced with the next challenge; Getting out of bed undetected, dressing myself, and escaping the unfamiliar room, all without so much as making a sound that could alert the blonde to my leaving. Yeah, sounds pretty simple in theory, but in reality, well, lets be realistic. Still, I had to try it, so, doing my best to ignore the shooting pain that was beginning to spread up through my spine and hips, I shuffled out of bed as gently as possible. Fortunately, he didn't wake, even after I fell onto the floor unceremoniously.

Once there, and after popping my head up quickly to make sure he hadn't stirred, I began to search the floor for my clothing. I sighed in frustration when I couldn't find them, even among the piles on the floor. Clearly the man lived here, as I doubt a hotel room would have a year's worth of clothes in it. Another pat on the back for my horny ass, it chose someone with enough honor to take me to his actual home, not just to a dingy love hotel. Still, his vast array of clothing on the floor was making my search that much more difficult. Finally, deciding that I wasn't going to find my own clothes any time soon, I simply grabbed the first shirt I came into contact with and pulled it over my head. And it's not like he could complain! He got laid last night, I think he can spare a shirt. Besides, he deserves it! He kidnapped and raped a drunk foreigner! And yes, I've decided it was a kidnap-rape, as a sober me would have called it such.

Alright, shirt, on. Next was pants. But, again, mine weren't on the floor. Maybe the other side? This in mind, I stood, planning to walk to the other side quickly. But, to my despair, my brilliant plan was foiled. To my still hungover and therefore more obvious than normal surprise, the man was wide awake, his bright blue eyes staring at me as I jumped. It wasn't his wakefulness that freaked me out, it was the huge ass wolf grin he had plastered all over his face.

What the hell was there to smile about? You kidnapped and raped a random drunk Norwegian that you found at some "shoved in an alley" bar, and said Norwegian was now on his way out of the door. What then, I asked my subconscious, was he grinning about? I glared at him, daring him to continue smirking like that, trying to intimidate him with my gaze as I am famous for doing. He, however, didn't falter. On the contrary, I think his smile managed to grow a little. I was a little more than shocked the first time I heard his voice, and even more so when I realised that the words were directed at me.

"I didn't take you for the one-night stand type." He informed me, his Danish accent thick as he spoke. I gaped only for a moment while I gathered my senses, then narrowed my eyes at him.

"That's because I'm not. I, however, don't see the need to explain my situation to a kidnapper/rapist who abducts foreigners. Drunk foreigners." I spat right back, and he chuckled.

"Fair enough. But, just to let you know, you were more than willing to crawl into my bed last night." He offered lazily, running fingers through his perfect blonde hair. I had been right. Even conscious, that hair was so HIM. It fit his personality to a T. It'd be nice to run my fingers through that hair myself... It looked like it would feel wonderful... And...NO! ON TOPIC!

"I was drunk you ass! Who isn't willing when they're drunk?" I demanded, and he shrugged in response, leaning over and twisting his finger into the shirt I had stolen, grinning as he did so.

"I guess you have a point. Still, you started it, with all that dancing. That was some damn sexy shit you did on that floor." He said, looking up at me, his eyes alight with an emotion I couldn't read. I faltered. I had started it? I WAS known to get pretty... Aggressive... Where dancing was involved. Tino told me once that, by the time we left one of the few clubs we visited, (which is rare, because Tino and I both have issues with alcohol, hence my current situation.) I had managed to dance with every guy there, and had also managed to turn every single one of them on. In my defense, it was a small club. Obviously my drunk alter-ego likes human contact.

"I-I'm not at fault. I had every right to dance at a club! It's your fault for taking it the wrong way." I decided, and he quirked an eyebrow.

"I didn't think that grinding like that could have another meaning..." He said, and my face got just a little hotter, and I couldn't help but notice that his finger was still twisted into the shirt, pressing little circles into my abdomen. What I wouldn't give to indulge in that... But no, I had to get out of here.

"Well... You thought wrong. Now, I'm leaving. Nice meeting you nameless rapist. Hope you had a good time." I shot, going to turn around. But as soon as I went to take a step, I felt arms circle around my waist and pull me back, the backs of my knees buckling when they met the edge of the bed. Now sitting, I turned my head to glare at the Dane who still wasn't getting the idea.

"No you don't. First, my name is Mathias. Second, that," He coiled his finger into the stolen article yet again. "happens to be my shirt. And third, I really doubt you want to walk out without pants, for several reasons." He announced, and I sighed.

"Look, it's great and all that you think that you are just terribly irresistible, but I have places to be, and even if I didn't, this would never work out. So let go of me and help me find my god damned pants. Try your luck with next drunk Norwegian that you come across." I told him, trying again to stand. I growled a bit as I was, once again, denied this ability. I tried to pull the arms off of my waist, to no avail, then resorted to flailing wildly. I mean, if all else fails, the clear solution is to revert back into a two year old. Everyone knows that. Well, everyone except, apparently, for obnoxious Danish rapists. Instead of letting me go and backing off like a normal person, he just squeezed me that much harder. I gasped, then turned and gave him the best damn glare I could muster. Still, no reaction, he just continued grinning.

"Let me go you.. You... Fuck! I can't think of a nasty enough name to call you in English, but when I do I swear to Odin above I will..." I was cut off as he sat up, pulling me to sit in his lap. "What do you think you're doing! I can seriously press charges now..." I warned, and he just gave me a bark of a laugh.

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever you say, Norge." My eye twitched a bit at the nickname. "Anyway, I think you ought to take a shower before you go. I mean, it can't feel too good to have my cu..."

"Don't. Even. Say. It." I hissed, my face heating a fraction. I had been trying to ignore that fact up until then... There went that plan...

"Alright, alright, I won't say it, but you know I'm right. Go take a shower, and I'll find your clothes." He offered, and I raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. That seemed a little too generous... Definitely out of character for this man, from what I had seen. Still, I could detect no lies, and there seemed no hitch, so I nodded. He finally released me, and I stood, biting back the groan I nearly let out because of the pain. I rubbed my lower back tenderly, glaring at the Dane expectantly.

"Ah, right. Bathroom is the second door on the left." He informed me, and I hobbled my way out with as much grace as someone who got raped in the ass can limp, which isn't very much, obviously. In this manner, I made it to the bathroom and let myself in. Despite not liking the Dane, I have to say that I did like his home. The bathroom was much neater than the bedroom had been, and it smelled clean and crisp. I found a pile of towels on a small rack, and, assured that I would be able to dry off afterward, I turned the handles and let the water run for a moment. As the water heated, I stripped, which wasn't a very difficult process considering I was only wearing an oversized t-shirt. Now naked yet again, I pulled the stopper for the shower, and stepped in. I sighed as the hot water hit my skin, doing wonders to relax my tense muscles. What would I give to stay under the gentle spray of the water for a few hours? And I wouldn't be responsible for the water bill either... Very tempting...

But thoughts of the Dane that would surely be waiting for me to get out dismissed those thoughts, and I reached for shampoo. Surely he meant that I could use it when he offered me a shower? Well, I would have used it anyway. He raped me, I think I deserve some revenge. Regardless, I lathered it through my hair, rinsed it out, and repeated the process with conditioner. Then came the complicated part. I couldn't very well leave the stupid Dane's ejaculation inside of me. It was probably poisoning my intelligence as I stood there contemplating how I was going to get it out. Should I remain standing, bend over, get on my knees...? It really had been a while since I'd done this... My last "sweetheart" had been in tenth grade... That was farther back than I liked to remember.

Somehow, as I was thinking about this situation, I managed to miss the sound of the lockless door opening, and also failed to see the outline of a tall, slender body through the steam and frosted glass of the shower. So, imagine my surprise when the door suddenly slid open and I found myself face to face with a certain stupid Dane. He grinned at me mischievously, stepping into the path of the shower head and blocking the water from hitting my body. I quirked my eyebrow slightly, terribly annoyed with this man.

"And what the hell do you think you're doing here?" I snarled, and he simply offered me a chuckle. "I thought you were finding my clothes." I pointed out, and his grin grew.

"I did. They're sitting on the toilet lid." He replied, and I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"Okay, well, thanks. But I still don't require your company while I shower." I snapped, but he wasn't effected. No, on the contrary, it had the opposite result of what I had wanted. Instead of stepping out of the shower, he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I growled indignantly, trying to shove him away from me, but to no avail. Though I struggled with all of my might, he held fast, and I simply ended up tiring myself out. After a few minutes, in which my protests slowly weaned into pathetic arm wiggling, I finally gave in, sagging in his arms. If he was going to hold me anyway, it might as well be up. However, he didn't seem to be expecting the sudden additional body weight, as he toppled over on top of me. I groaned, rubbing my head where it had hit the tub, and sending him a glare.

"Jeeze! Why'd you do that? Are you alright Norge?" He asked, and I scoffed.

"Just fucking peachy you ass. I mean, who doesn't LOVE being molested by a huge Dane while they shower? And what kind of person would I be if I didn't enjoy having my head bludgeoned by a bathtub?" I spat at him, and he finally flinched.

"Alright, alright, so maybe I dropped you a little... But you were the one who went limp all of a sudden! And I can't help it that I can't resist this... Delicious body..." He trailed off towards the end, looking down to examine my apparently "delicious" body. I flushed slightly, shifting slightly to try and cover myself. I always hated getting looked at when I was naked... But this stupid man didn't seem to care what I liked and disliked, as he pulled my legs back apart. I growled the best I could, but I'm sure that the blush on my cheeks took all of the intimidation out of it.

"Ah ah, none of that!" He scolded me, and my face changed to one of utter disbelief.

"I thought I was showering... Not getting raped again..." I informed him, and he chuckled.

"Believe me Norge, by the time I'm finished, you won't be calling it rape..." He whispered lowly in my ear, and I couldn't repress the little shudder. Fuck! No! I can't be doing this! I'm en... I...

"Get off me!" I snarled, but he didn't move, just rubbed circles into my stomach., smiling at me.

"Why?" He asked, grinning playfully. I shivered again as his fingers moved up to tweak a nipple.

"I'm-Ah-En... Ohhhh..." Fuck, why did guys have to be so much better at this? "En..." I tried again, but he cut me off by putting his lips to my other nipple, giving it a soft nip. I gave up on my words as I arched slightly, finally deciding to take the easy way out. I shoved my hand in his face, successfully removing him from my nipple, and then waved it in his face.

"Engaged!" I gasped, finally sure that I had gotten him. He paused, examining the silver band on my finger, then shrugged.

"Better than married." He announced simply, then returned to what he had been doing. I groaned as he did, barely fighting the urge to thrust. God, when did I get so easy? When did I become a complete and utter slut? And what was I going to do? I couldn't just let him do this! Despite everything, I planned on staying faithful to my fiance, even if I wasn't even remotely fond of her...

But, Odin, the way he just ran his hands up my stomach... No! Dammit, this isn't okay! I have to- Ohhhhh, I never knew my thighs could feel that good.

So, Norge, if you're engaged, why'd you venture all the way to little ol' Danmark?" He asked conversationally, rubbing circles into my newly discovered sensitive thighs, and I groaned, not sure if it was out of annoyance or pleasure.

"For my fucking bachelor party that Tino just fucking ha-ad to throw me... Oh my... Fuck!" I cried out as he finally lets his fingers brush my hardened arousal. Wait... When had that happened? I don't even like this stupid asshole, so why on earth was I ha-aaa, that explains it.

"Ah... Good man this... Tino..." He breathed, licking at the shell of my ear, making me shudder all over again. "Fuck, you are so damn hot..." He continued, and I flushed just a bit more, ashamed that I was letting him palm me like this, and even more ashamed that I bucked into his hand to force more friction. I just got laid last night! Why the hell was I so horny?

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then trailed downward, leaving a thin trail of his saliva as he went, only for it to be washed away moments later by the shower that was still running. Lower, lower, lower he went, sending shivers through me with every inch that he gained. No, no, no, I can't let him do this! I was getting married in two days! I...

I don't know what it was exactly. Maybe all of the steam from the too hot shower was getting to my brain, maybe it was fogging my judgment just like the glass of the shower door, maybe it was the last flicker of the freedom in my body desperately wanting to burn bright in it's last moment. Or maybe it was the fact that I am a complete and utter sucker for blowjobs... Regardless, when he wrapped those lips around me, I gave up all hope of escape, all hope of resistance, and offered myself up to the complete pleasure he was sending me. Well, fuck it all. I had two more days of freedom, might as well enjoy them to the best of my ability.

So I tangled my fingers in his wet hair, tugging as gently as I could, holding on for dear sanity. But he seemed to be trying to tempt me the other way, what with the way he would run his tongue along the underside, then switch to bobbing slowly, finishing the routine by allowing me to slip out of his mouth and blowing on my wet manhood. I spasmed wildly each time he did this, the heat in my stomach pooling, demanding release. I was close, so god damned fucking close, I was arching, I could feel the eminent release, and... He stopped me. He pinched the base, removing his lips, and I nearly screamed with frustration.

"What the fuck? I swear to fucking Odin if you don't let me fucking climax I'm going to chop your mother fucking balls off and feed them to Tino's fucking dog you stupid son of a bitch!" I snarled desperately, and he grinned playfully.

"Don't worry babe, I'll let you cum. But I want to have some fun too!" He informed me, then gently hoisted me off the bottom of the tub, setting me on his lap. I looked at him, trying to glare but feeling uncertain. He chuckled, then scooted me closer to him, and I gasped when I felt his arousal brush against mine. So hard... So hot... Fuck.

"Go on... I want you to do it." He commanded, and I scoffed.

"And what makes you think I will?" I demanded, and he simply shrugged.

"I guess you don't have to, if you don't want to cum. Oh, and I hid your cellphone too, just for the record." He retorted, and I gaped at him angrily for a moment.

"You are such a fucking pain in the ass!" I growled, shifting so that my weight was on my knees at either side of him. I hadn't meant it as a joke, but it became one as I realised what I was about to do. A pain in the ass indeed.

I tried to relax as I lowered myself slowly. Yes, the water from the shower was lubricating a bit, but not enough that it didn't hurt. Not even close. I felt tears sting at my eyes, but I bit them back scornfully, forcing myself down further.

"Fuck Norge... Ohhh, so hot..." He rasped into my ear, and I groaned, still forcing myself down. I was only halfway down, and it was already feeling like too much. Despite my distaste for the man, I had to admit, he was huge. I was frustrated that I couldn't force anymore in, and I took it out on the first thing that was presented to me. Namely the stupid Dane's shoulder. I bit, hard enough to draw blood, and I felt him jump underneath me.

"Shit! You didn't bite last night!" He exclaimed, moving his hand up to rub his shoulder where I had bitten. I smirked proudly, happy to have caused him discomfort. He apparently took my smirk as a challenge though, as he smirked right back, and put his hands on my hips, which, at this point, were trembling with the effort of holding me up.

"Oh, are you all smug now? Well, I'll just have to stamp that out..." He muttered against my ear, then, without any warning, pulled me the rest of the way down. Not even the best of men could repress the scream induced by that, and surely not me. I wailed out pathetically, digging my nails into his shoulders in an attempt to mask the pain shooting through my spine.

"You-Stupid... Son of a bitch! Wh-at the fuck... Did you do that for?" I demanded, and chuckled darkly.

"To remind you who's doing the fucking. Now shut up and start moving." He commanded me, and I growled indignantly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I won't s..." I started, but he clearly tired of my speech, as he groaned and forced me on my back.

"Just shut up for, like, five minutes, okay? Just long enough for me to..." He trailed off, giving a small thrust into me, causing me to arch and groan. Again, he came back, thrusting just a bit harder this time, then faster the time after that, then harder and faster after that, continuing until he had found a rhythm that suit his taste, and one that made me cry out in pleasure.

"That's more like it." He huffed, pressing me harder into the wall of the tub, forcing me to sit up a little. I couldn't think at this point, let alone protest. All I wanted at the moment was for this idiot of a rapist to find my stupid prostate so I could go blind with pleasure. Was that so much to ask? Obviously not, as the next thing I knew my world went white, and my body flew away from the tub, smashing into his chest in a desperate desire to prolong the sensation. It was really going to suck when I got married to that useless female, she would never be able to hit my sweet spot like this...

"Oh fuck, so tight..." He informed me breathlessly, aiming to hit the spot again, and succeeding. I screamed in my moment of weakness, forcing my body down to meet his, causing him to hit my prostate that much harder. I wasn't going to last too much longer like this, and I knew it, but I'd be damned if I was going to come before this stupid son of a bitch. Determined once more not to be on the losing end, I shifted so that he was leaning back against the wall, and I was straddling him. Yeah, this might have been what he wanted, but I was in control this time.

He moaned as I started moving up and down, helping me set a rhythm with his hands on my hips. I bit my lip to try and bid my climax away, forcing my muscles to tighten around him, and his voice got louder and louder with each painfully pleasurable thrust. But he seemed just as determined as I was to be the last to cum. So we both held on as long as we could, but all things, good and bad, must eventually come to an end. I felt my release at the same time as I felt his inside of me, so I guess you could call it a tie. But it really, I was far from caring at the moment, content to just collapse onto his soaked chest. Whether it was sweat or water from the now lukewarm shower, I'll never know.

We both gasped erratically, our chest rising in falling in dissonance, yet still harmoniously somehow. We probably would have lain their for several hours were the water not rapidly cooling. So we hoisted ourselves up, or rather, he moved me off him, and he turned the water off. After sliding the shower door open, he stooped down and picked me up. Had my ass not been in so much pain, I probably would have protested, but, alas, I doubted I could move at the moment, so I allowed it. He laid me on a towel, then proceeded to dry me off. Once I was dry, he repeated the action on himself. Satisfied, he grabbed at the clothes that he had left on the toilet. I eyed them suspiciously, and found, to my annoyance, that they weren't mine at all.

"Do you ever plan on letting me leave, or are you just going to repeatedly cripple me so you can keep me in your basement?" I asked sarcastically, and he chuckled as he lifted me up and pulled one of his shirts over my head.

"As much as I like the latter idea, Tino is looking for you." He informed me, and I gaped.

"W-What do you mean?" I asked, uncertain.

"He's looking for you. He asked a friend of mine if he had seen you, and he called me, and I told him you were here. I'm driving you out to meet them later. But I figured you might like to take a little nap before. I doubt you'll have much luck walking in that state..." I replied, and my heart sunk. I stood up quickly, ignoring how hard my body was protesting the action, and slapped him as hard as I could. Having stunned the Dane efficiently, I left the room, slamming the door in his face. I didn't know where I though I was going, just away. I knew I couldn't leave the house without retrieving my things, but I couldn't stay with him...

So I settled for the bedroom. I made my way back through the hallway, and let myself in. I heard his quick footsteps by then, but ignored them, closing the door. I was relieved to find a lock, and utilized it, then quickly laid in his bed. Why, you ask, did I react so violently to him saying he was going to take me to Tino? Well, little known fact, but I do have a few insecurity issues.

I had, somehow, fooled myself into thinking that he liked me. I knew he just wanted sex... But the thought that maybe he would decide he still wanted me after that... I can't say it didn't come to mind. I guess I was really hoping that he would still want me... Being alone for so long, and then being forced to marry a stupid girl that you don't like will tend to mess with your thought processes. Fine, I'll say it straight out. I wanted him to want me. And is that so god damned terrible? But instead of that, he was really just fucking me because of availability. I was here, and I was easy. Easy to take, and easy to get rid of. He had known that He wouldn't have to deal with me later, that's why he had no problems with taking me a second time. He didn't prefer me... I wasn't as 'good' as he said. I was just sex, free and easy, and no strings attached.

Fuck, when did I start caring? I've told myself so many times not to care. It always leads to something bad! Even so... If he wasn't interested... Why was he beating on the door frantically? I swore I could see the hinges strain as his fists hit the wood. But why? Why would he fight for something he cared nothing about? What a strange man. But there were the hopeful thoughts yet again. Maybe he did care! Maybe he actually wanted to talk! Maybe... But no, fuck no. I wasn't going to let these stupid thoughts get to me. He was just a stupid, thoughtless, horny idiot. He didn't deserve a second thought.

But then why were tears falling down my cheeks...?

A/N: Angsty end... Huh... Whelp, this was meant to be a one shot... I got a request from koliobutterflyhahaha... I really don't think this is what you expected... ^.^' But this is what came out...Sooo... Yeah... This is truly my first time writing a real sex scene! Like, for real! I don't know what I think about it just yet... But oh well.

Anywho, I meant for this to be a one shot, as I said, but it was getting too long, so there is going to be at least one more chapter. Sorry for those that wanted it to be quick... But I wanted to get a part of it out at least, just to let you know that I really have worked on the request! But I need to write the next chapter for No Such Thing as Coincidence, so yeah.

NORGE IS SO OOC! Like... A lot! Granted, we don't know how he would act during sex, as that is never in the manga, but you know... He seemed a little submissive... Oh well, I hope it isn't too bad!

Okei, back to NSTAC! I will work hard, and I'll try to get part two of this up soon!


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